Empty..

No matter how i queeze my time with work, school, sleep... there's still empty time for you to appeared in my mind. it makes me so unwell, i'm starting to hate myself whenever i stared into the mirror, it juz reflects my ugly dull face. it's just so natural to see your facebook account every moment, it make me feel even worse when your happy pictures flash in front of me.
Its so dumb for me to keep thinking, and you won't ever know. The promise of special friend is just a lie to keep me away isn't it? Maybe i'm just so childish! I jealous i angry when i think of your past...
You treat her so well even she treat you cruel. But me? I got nothing! I swear i did better than her, and i din't ruin your life but you ruin mine. I starts confusing myself already, If i choose to wait, is is worthy? Will you still come back to me?
I starts thinking all the family matters is just excuses. They're just excuses for you to push me away...